Point of Vulnerability or Window of Opportunity? Toward a New View of Women’s Sexual Debut

Abstract

Research and guidance on the transition to intercourse has focused more on its timing than on its quality, and on avoiding sexual health risk more than fostering healthy sex. Yet, gender differences in the quality of first intercourse are among the largest in sexuality research, with women recalling less pleasurable and satisfying “sexual debuts” than men. Drawing on experiential and ecological theories of sexuality, the current research examines the origins and impact of this “enjoyment gap,” challenging widely held views about women’s sexual debuts. First, that women’s less rewarding sexual debuts are a product of gender differences in sexuality rather than a precursor to them. Second, that the quality of women’s sexual debuts is neither a pressing nor promising target for sexual health interventions. Third, that the healthiest sexual debut for girls is no sexual debut. To test these assumptions, I revisited the gender gap in sexual desire, the enjoyment gap at sexual debut, and the meaning of sexual debut in three cross-sectional retrospective studies. Study 1 replicated gender differences in sexual desire; however, it found they were contingent on experience and measurement method. When dyadic and solitary desires were parsed, findings supported an experiential gap rather than a gender gap in sexual desire, with women’s diverging from men’s only when enjoyment was lacking at sexual debut. Study 2 replicated gender differences in enjoyment at this event; however, it found they were restricted to heterosexual debuts. When actor gender and partner gender were disentangled, findings suggested a gender gap in enjoyment at solitary sexual debut, but a partner gender gap at dyadic sexual debut—and one driven by inequitable circumstances when women debuted with men. Consequently, Study 3 revisited the meaning of sexual debut, finding that an earlier sexual debut may confer more benefits than risks to sexual health when experiences that are less gendered than first intercourse, and more enjoyable for women, are considered. Collectively, findings suggest that sexual debut is not just a point of vulnerability for women, but a window of opportunity for learning to have healthy sex—and one at which equal opportunity is often lacking.