Embraceable me, reclaiming voice through reflexive writing and singing

Abstract

'Embraceable Me' is my own story. It is a reflexive account in which I explore the silencing and reclamation of my voice, both my literal singing voice and the more figurative 'empowered voice.' By 'empowered voice' I mean the awareness of my thoughts, feelings and body in context, with the acceptance and expression of this authentic self in the world. This personal history account begins with an exploration of my seven-year-old framework. I then explore four critical turning points that led to epiphanies about my relationship to voice. (Listen to Compact Disc, Track 1). Through these epiphanies I consider my disconnection from (and reconnection to) my body, the dark feelings of grief and rage held there and the taking back of my own authority. I also look at the reflexive writing process as it opened me to self-compassion and in turn deepened my sense of empowered voice. While this is not a feminist analysis, it 'is' a story that is set in a patriarchal context, which links it implicitly with my take on feminism. It is a feminism that seeks to embrace the masculine and feminine dimensions of myself and of all forms of life. It is in this light of acceptance that I consider a shift from the dualistic thinking of good versus bad, to a more compassionate holding of the inherent paradox of life--the dark and light in the world and within me. It is a shift in self-forgiveness that enables me to look at my own reflection and see the embraceable me. I have explored this story on an enclosed compact disc. It includes narrative, song and excerpts from voice lessons intended to capture insights around both literal and figurative voice.